i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
