im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
