Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
