he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
