i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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