I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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