Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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