so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How external is "for external use only"?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
