dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
