the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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