dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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