you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
