We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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