the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
