you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
