I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
