well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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