you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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