I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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