If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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