don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
