p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
