i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
