the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
