Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
God, I missed his penis.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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