my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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