Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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