Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
