idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
