I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
