Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
