Soap is not a condiment
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
