she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
