no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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