I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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