nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You need a sexual gate keeper
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
