This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
