what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
