there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
