I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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