Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
