Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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