If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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