she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
