Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
