Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
