I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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