Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
