stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize