You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
