just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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